Friday, January 8, 2010

Soylent Sizzler

Okay,
I haven't posted anything in about 400 years, but this is too much. It seems that a fairly bright, funny and creative man named Joseph Hedlund Johnson filled in a customer comment card on an airplane with the following:
“I thought I was going to die, we were so high up, I thought to myself: I hope we don’t crash and burn or worse yet landing in the ocean, living through it, only to be eaten by sharks, or worse yet, end up on some place like Gilligan’s Island, stranded, or worse yet, be eaten by a tribe of headhunters, speaking of headhunters, why do they just eat outsiders, and not the family members? Strange … and what if the plane ripped apart in mid-flight and we plumited to earth, landed on Gilligan’s Island and then lived through it, and the only woman there was Mrs. Thurston Howell III? No Mary Anne (my favorite) no Ginger, just Lovey! If it were just her, I think I’d opt for the sharks, maybe the headhunters.”
Apparently, the waitress...er...flight attendant thought Mr. Johnson looked suspicious (He has long hair and a goatie, which indicates he's probably a bad guy from what I've seen on the TeeVee.) and decided to read his comment card.
She or he then turned said card over to the Pilot and they turned the plane around, viewing this as a threat.
Er, what?
A comment card.
So, say I'm in Sizzler and I pick up the comment card and write, "The salad bar was delightful, but then I looked at the crackers and their shape and pattern set off my internal alarms. Then I looked about and saw all of the old people. Suddenly, I was afraid of the taco bar. I wondered if the old people were being processed. I wanted to shout out, 'Soylent taco is people, you're eating people.' fortunately I didn't have an ascot." and I can expect men in black suits to come to my house and cart me off to an exclusive Cuban resort?
God help America, it has lost it's way.

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